I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
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Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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