She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
