I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
