you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
