just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
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