I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize