When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
