I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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