it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
