this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
