Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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