It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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