She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
