I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
