I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
