10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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