She's JV to your varsity
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
