They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
