Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
