You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
