From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We left an ass print on the piano.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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