I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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