they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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