but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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