My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
