my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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