Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize