this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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