Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
