Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
