Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize