Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Superbpurpherb hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?

Fav 27 2950 1792
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(479): View more from Arkansas

I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.

Fav 9 1798 776
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(620): View more from Kansas

He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.

Fav 7 2035 816
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(937): View more from Ohio

so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.

Fav 3 2245 800
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(+61): View more from Australia

I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it

Fav 0 509 777
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(727): View more from Florida

"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.

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