Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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