somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
