apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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