on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I currently don't understand fingers.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
