At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
