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I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
