BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
