I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
