i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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