She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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