just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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