Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I think I died a long time ago.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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