Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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