weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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