remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
