god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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