his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
