Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things šš
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He was all āplease donāt bail because Iām missing work for thisā last night
Honey no, I need dick. Iām not going to bail
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