he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
