dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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