i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
