Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
