Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
