Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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