she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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