i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
