piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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